Marny Traverse from Crossroads Foster Care shares a story of challenge in her journey as a foster caregiver for teens.
A teen who desperately wants freedom and doesn’t want to wait. This teen is chafing under our basic rules and pushing boundaries. They are vulnerable to the suggestions of others and starving for the admiration and acceptance of peers. All of this has led to risky behaviors.
We have had some tough conversations and implemented some new restrictions for our teen, but our teen is angry and frustrated and often spouts threats of leaving, never speaking to people again or staying in their room forever. I think to myself, I’m sure when there is some distance from the situation, it will be funny.
However, right now, I am incredibly sad about the choices our teen is making and the possible consequences if they continue with the path they’re on. The tension in our house is thick, and that is not what we want.
Then we have another teen come to stay with us for a night. With our current teen feeling hostile and a new unhappy teen, we anticipated things might be rough… but, to our surprise, we witnessed both parties displaying their best sides to each other!
Our teen sat and patiently taught and encouraged the visiting teen the complexities of their football video game. Our teen cheered the teen on through the learning and then proceeded to play the game for the rest of the evening!
There was no animosity or anger, just a helpful and encouraging individual that we haven’t seen in ages. Our teen had a purpose and in the midst of fulfilling it … shone!!
I lingered at my computer, needing to just absorb the pleasant chatter and the incredibly positive interactions happening in front of a video game. It was peaceful and positive…it was healing and gave me hope.
Perhaps our purpose, providing safety and love for teens affected by trauma, will help them find a way to their own purpose.
Marny Traverse